If I Said I Loved You
by HC247
Summary: After so much time can a seed still grow? Can a fire be sparked from this embers glow?...If I said the words. If I spoke my heart. If I said out loud what I feel...Fiyerba, pre-ALAYM. Review please!


_If I said I loved you  
__All my life I loved you  
Would the line be crossed?  
Would the words make sense?  
Would the thought be cause for concern?  
Would you turn to frost?  
Would you take offense?  
Or perchance feel love in return?_

He had lost his mind. At least that's what anyone who knew him would be telling him if they could see him now. How else could his actions of the past few moments possibly be rationalized?

Perhaps there was some truth to that statement. He could hardly believe it himself. His own mind was still trying to process how he had come to be running through the darkened streets of the Emerald City, following someone he hadn't seen in over three years. His hand was clasped securely in hers, not by way of affection; though he did find his heart suddenly light at her touch, but for the sole sake of protection. She knew these alleys like the back of her own hand and he trusted her to get them both to safety.

She released his hand suddenly and he felt a slight pang from the loss of contact. Call him sappy or sentimental, but that was the truth of the matter. He had suspected from the moment he has seen her in the throne room, but now he was sure. As he stood here with her, hiding in the shadows and glancing over his shoulder around every bend, he had never been more certain.

He was in love with her. Completely, deeply, insanely head-over-heel in love.

It scared the hell out of him.

He studied her as she checked the empty streets for any hidden danger, then motioned for him to follow. He did, but his mind was a million miles away. Had he been in love with her this whole time and simply hadn't realized? He had always felt a strange connection with this unique girl and had searched for her with a vengeance after she had disappeared. At first, he had simply thought of it as a favor for Glinda and out of the desire to see her happy. Now he realized it was really a manifestation off his deepest desires.

She led him up several flights of stairs to the roof of the dilapidated building. She had still said nothing since their departure and for the first time, he wondered what she would do if she knew how deeply he cared. What would she say? Would she say anything at all? The scary thing was he had no clue as to what her reaction might be.

He knew she liked to keep things simple. She never danced around a subject, only tackled everything head on. She told it how it was and told it to your face. It was moments like this he wished he could do the same. He had no trouble relating to people in general, but this was a different case entirely. For the first time in his life, he _loved_ someone.

He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, then thought better of it. Affection was not something she was used to and, unless she had kept a lover during her time away without his knowledge, especially not affection from men. What would she do he confess his heart and try to kiss her? Would she laugh him his face? Freeze up the way she had that day in the forest? Ignore him completely? He could only begin to guess.

As she turned to look at him now, brow rose in expectation, he wondered if his heart could take the risk. On the plus side, her glance was not murderous. In fact, it seemed to be the opposite. There was softness in her eyes that betrayed her harsh exterior and his heart lifted a bit. Was there a chance in Oz she might feel the same way? He couldn't tell for certain, but there was something there.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, he climbed on the broom behind her, holding her a bit closer than necessary. Let him deal with the doubts later. Right now, he simply took the chance to hold her.

* * *

_If I said I loved you  
All my life I loved you  
Would you think me cruel  
To presume as much?  
Should I take more time to declare?  
Would I seem the fool  
To admit as such?  
In my heart you've always been there_

What in Oz's name was she doing? As they soared through the sky above the Emerald City, she fought the urge to slap herself for her stupidity. What was she _thinking _in letting him tag along? This was not some childhood adventure in which he got to play the dashing hero, no matter how well he fit the part. This was a life and death situation that she should have known better than to involve in, much less than the people she cared most about.

One, in particular.

He knew this might be nothing more than a game to him. After all, he was Captain of the Guard. Think of the stories he could tell upon his return. He could boast of how he had eluded the Wicked Witch, how she had fallen under his charming spell and had aloud herself to be captured in the process. Truthfully, he had managed to do just that.

She had never fancied herself as the type of woman to fall in love. Thing such as that were meant for girls like Glinda, not her. Girls like her were meant to live their life alone and desolate, not to be riding off into the sunset in the arms of their fairytale prince.

However, as she had leaned, the heart often had a mind of its own. It rarely ever listened to the orders of its owner; rather it was much more content to do things its own way. How else could she describe what had happened? She was not naïve enough to believe she could have him; that was simply not the way to worked. He wasn't cut out for the life she was used to. A life on the run with an unknown future. His future was settled, set at his feet and wrapped up with a bow for the taking. How could he compare that with the life she could offer him?

But she couldn't control her heart. Oz knows she had tried. Tried many times only to end up with the same sad truth. She was in love with someone who could never feel the same. Or cold he? As they flew through the sky and she felt his arms around her, she allowed herself to imagine, if just for a single moment, that he was hers. She felt her heart swell at the thought and a smile played on her lips, making her grateful for the cover of darkness. If he could see her now, grinning inanely like a schoolgirl, he would truly think her mad.

Or would he? Had it been her imagination or was he holding her a little tighter and closer than necessary. She knew he had always been comfortable with affection, even among those he hardly knew. Was this simply his way with all old friends or were her deepest desires suddenly sparking to life with a new hope? What would he say his she confessed what had been in her heart for years? If she told him what had happened to her in the forest that day, how would he react? Maybe he didn't even believe her capable of love. Perhaps she was a fool for even contemplating the idea.

She was not a passive woman; she never had been. Why then, was this proving to be so difficult? Rejection shouldn't scare her. She had spent her whole life dealing with it. His opinion, however, mattered greatly to her. _It would be so nice if he loved me…_

Still, the thought of it actually coming to light lit a spark of hope in her heart. She felt his arms tighten around her midsection and she smiled in spite of herself. Could it really happen? There would be time for questions later, she decided. For this moment, she closed her eyes and relished simply being in his arms. Right now it was all she had and right now it was enough.

* * *

Several hours later, they both awoke in the quiet hours of early morning. Dreary-eyed and happy, she snuggled deeper into his embrace as he placed a kiss to the top of her head. Heart had been confessed, risks had been taken, feelings had been affirmed, and awkwardness had been abound, but it had been more than worth it. Wrapped up in one another, they fell asleep once more, sharing the same thoughts just before sleep claimed them. _I can't believe I am loved!_

_I wonder what you'd say  
Wonder what you'd do  
If I said "My love, I love you"_


End file.
